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This year’s winner has not one but two jokes in this year’s funniest jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival ranking.
The funniest jokes from this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival have been ranked and revealed.
Compiled by entertainment channel Dave, who recruit an expert panel of comedy critics who attend hundreds of Fringe shows before submitting their favourite jokes – a shortlist then voted on by 2,000 Brits – the coveted Funniest Joke of the Fringe award is handed out every year towards the end of the festival.
U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Edinburgh Fringe award this year went to Mark Simmons for the following joke, taken from his PHB’s Free Fringe show at the Liquid Room Annexe: “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it”.
Ba-dum-tss.
Speaking about his joke claiming the top spot, Simmons said: “I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can’t understand it, I always gave 110%.”
Simmons also had a second joke in the Top 5 of this year’s funniest jokes too…
Here are this year’s Top 15 jokes:
1. “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship, but I bottled it.” Mark Simmons
2. “I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back.” Alec Snook
3. “Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right, but the mane was dreadful.” Alex Kitson
4. “I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it.” Arthur Smith
5. “I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.” Mark Simmons
6. “My dad used to say to me: “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes.” Olaf Falafel
7. “British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons?” Chelsea Birkby
8. “I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it.” Masai Graham
9. “My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had.” Zoë Coombs Marr
10. “The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati.” Olaf Falafel
11. “I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’.” Sarah Keyworth
12. “I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard.” Roger Swift
13. “Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply.” Lou Wall
14. “Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher.” Sophie Duker
15. “Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people.” Olga Koch
Simmons joins the likes of Tim Vine, Stewart Francis and Zoe Lyons as the winner of best joke of the Fringe.
Comedian Lorna Rose-Treen won last year with her joke: “I started dating a zookeeper – but it turned out he was a cheetah.”
The Edinburgh Fringe is the world’s biggest performance art festival and takes place over three weeks every August. This year’s edition ends on 26 August.
Additional sources • UKTV
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